That insecurity…

‘You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.’ – Song of Solomon 4:7

As people we all have something that we feel insecure about. Some insecurities are bigger than others, but they’re all important when it comes to raising each other up and making each other feel beautiful. 

About two years ago, I absolutely hated the way I looked (mainly my body) and wanted to lock myself away from any possible judgement. I wanted to change the way that my body looked and the way that it made me feel as quickly as possible. This resulted in me working out whenever I could and trying to diet. Because I still lived with my parents and my younger siblings, it was very hard for me to diet the way that I felt I needed to which lead to me skipping meals to get that ‘diet’ in there. In my head at the time, me skipping meals was the perfect solution to losing weight and changing my body. I would always miss breakfast and I would never eat my pack lunch at school, then when I came home I would never finish a meal, claiming that I was full. Living in a house with so many people meant that it was easy for me to ‘get away with’ not eating. I would train my body to not be hungry, and if I was, at what I thought was an unnecessary eating time, I’d drink a lot of water to take my appetite away. At points I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t, it was just part of my routine.

This went on for about a year, keeping it to myself until I told a friend (my now boyfriend). He, whenever he was with me, would pray with me before a meal that I could eat, or pray with me after if I didn’t (I always felt let down if I didn’t), he would always ask me to list out everything I had eaten that day and if it was basically nothing he’d ask me to try and eat another thing. He would do anything to make sure I got myself back to normal. And for that I am thankful.

It took me a long time to recover, and I’m still recovering now. There are days that are easy and days that are hard but I’m so happy with how far I’ve come from my low point. I felt so insecure about who I was. I didn’t feel beautiful. I’m not saying I never feel insecure now because I do, but what I’m saying is that I know and believe that Jesus looks and me in awe and calls me beautiful.

Whatever you insecurities are, I want you to know that you are beautiful. Whatever you’re going through whether its linked to your insecurities or not, speak to someone, pray about it, just don’t keep it in. You are beautiful. You are created uniquely and perfectly in Gods image and You are beautiful. Don’t let yourself or anyone tell you otherwise. Whatever your insecurity is, hand it to Jesus. Let Him show you, you are beautiful.

About Author

Lydia is the Founder & director of Every Season Counts. She is the eldest of 10, meaning that she has 9 younger siblings; 4 sisters & 5 brothers! She is passionate about all things photography and loves design.

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