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This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

1 Jhon 1:5 [ESV]

I’ve really been struggling on what to talk about this month as there seems to be more darkness appearing in my life than there is light. I feel like there is so much change happening and I haven’t had any time for a breather or for me to even process anything that is happening. God seems to be putting things in my life that I fear i’m not strong enough to handle or strong enough to carry around… 

In the last 2 weeks I have been through some testing times, my Nan had passed away after 91 years on this Earth where she loved nothing more than showering people with love and having nothing but positive words and encouragement for people as well as love for the Lord. She had taught me that you are never too busy for Jesus and that every Sunday you should always try and dedicate your morning to meet with Jesus at church. Even though she has passed away and is no longer with us, as much as it hurts and is heartbreaking to not have her around anymore, she is with Jesus in heaven, finally rejoicing and is able to finally rest. 

My Family and I sadly had to put my gorgeous dog Molly to sleep as she was far too poorly to carry on living the life she deserved to live. She had become paralysed in her back legs and had neurological issues that Molly was just sadly too far gone to be saved and to have any treatment as it would be unfair on her to let her carry on in such poor conditions.

It has broken my heart and I feel like things have really been testing me and I know that this is the time that I need to hold out, and hold on to God. He is the one who is able to lead me through the tough and challenging times. It may not feel like it now but I know that I am stronger than these challenging times. 

I’ve realised that through these times as a woman I am able to be knocked down, have a cry and have as many temper tantrums as I feel necessary. Why? because we have to be able to develop our own understandings for things happening and we need to be able to turn to God and cry, complain and be able to confine in Him when everything seems like it’s the worst it will ever be. We may never understand death and we may never be able to see why something awful has happened. I am a strong believer in everything happening for a reason and everything having an explanation whether we find that explanation or not that is all down to us have faith in God and believing that He will reveal the unknown to us, and if He doesn’t then we need to trust it was all for a good or a reason for self growth. 

I’m growing and I’m learning to be strong and righteous. 

Girlies remember to get up off of the floor and dust yourself off, you don’t belong on the ground. But also remember that you are able to take a minute to yourself and let yourself process your emotions do things in your own time, give all your worries to God.

Proverbs 31:25 [NIV]

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.

 James 1:3 [ESV]

For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

God is good always.

 

 

About Author

Beth will be starting university in September, studying Primary Education. She is super excited about the future and what God has in store for her over the next coming years.

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