Dictionary definition of failure;
Failure – lack of success
Failure has been such a significant and present feeling within this season in my life, the last few months have been an absolute rollercoaster in my life, a lot of change has happened leaving me feeling unsettled and as though I don’t have a belonging, then to throw into the mix…I didn’t get a place at university, this was it, this was the almighty end in my head, this was the one thing that I had been looking forward to, this was the one thing that was going to solve all of my problems and worries. and now it’s gone. I was left feeling so empty, all my friends got into uni why didn’t I? after the months i’ve had why has this happened? Failure was one big word swirling round my head, all I could think is what am I going to do!? This has been apart of the life plan for the last 5 years, and now it’s gone.
Through this process I became so fed up with it all, I wanted to throw the towel in and just not bother with the career I have dreamt about for such a long time…but, I didn’t, I tried to think about things logically, everyone was saying to me different little phrases such as ‘one door closes so that another door can open’ ‘not all things are supposed to be’, ‘changing direction is not lack of direction’
This last saying is one that really got to me, God is still ‘directing my life’ God has been and always will ‘direct my life’ and unfortunately I will never know what that direction looks like until i’m there, within this situation I was so set on my own goals and what I wanted that I didn’t even take into consideration that God may have a different way of going about things. I came to the conclusion that Gods ‘No’ is not rejection but rather a redirection, once I came to terms with this, that word failure slowly began to fade away
Proverbs 16:9 [NIV]
‘In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps’
Scripture shows us this with Jonah. Jonah a man of God ran away from Gods calling for him, Jonah was then swallowed by a great whale and remained in the whales stomach for three days and nights, during this time he prayed for deliverance, God introduced a scary and unsettling experience into Jonahs life to get him back onto the path he had planned for him.
What I learnt through this season is that failure is not fatal… although I may have failed in terms of my plans, there is no way I have failed in Gods plans. Trust in Gods plans and His timings. Therefore the definition of failure in scripture completely juxtaposes the dictionary definition of failure, failure does not mean a lack of success, it means the complete opposite, failure in the present moment leads to Gods greater and bigger success that He has planned for you <3