All The Single Ladies (and gents)

Hey! We had an AMAZING podcast a few months back by Lydia and (her boyfriend) Toby on relationships, they had some super helpful insight into the dating world that I know we all would’ve got something from, but this month I wanted the chance to talk on singleness.

Yes: the “s” word.

I don’t know about you, but I like to consider marriage as a goal in my life (albeit the Lord’s will). However, I used to think if I never got married, I would never truly be walking in my full purpose on this Earth. The Pinterest boards and cute Christian couples made that seem like a necessity, and I soon realised I was idolising the idea of a life partner. A month or so back the Holy Spirit really began a work in my heart about relationships, and I just wanted to share a bit of that with you guys today.

1. Lordship

I found I was in a mind-set where I really wanted a relationship; I wanted that cute Christian Instagram couple thing going on in my life and someone to “do life” with. I wanted that “now” and felt bummed at the idea of waiting for it. The Lord immediately convicted me and I felt this question laid on my heart:

“Is marriage an idol?”

Wow. I was a little stunned. I’d never really considered that marriage – something God created for good – could become an idol in my heart. But it is so easy to do! God created marriage as a representation of Christ’s relationship with His church, and even then it’s only a mere glimpse of what’s to come. When I had that revelation that I’ll be infinitely more fulfilled by the awaited unity of Christ and His church when He returns, suddenly marriage didn’t seem such an idol in my life. I long for Christ more because I know I will be so much more fulfilled by Him!

2. Me, myself and Christ

Singleness is the ONLY time in your life where your key focus is you and Christ. When you enter into a marriage you then become one in flesh with another person, and suddenly you’ll have to consider them in everything you do. Singleness really is a blessed time! I’ve come to realise that as a young, single woman I am blessed in that I’m able to give God my full, undivided attention without hindrance. I’m more at use to His Kingdom works because I am the only commitment in my life (I don’t have a partner to consider). I’m more available to serve Him and there’s no real distraction. It’s been amazing to sit back and realise what an active part of the Church and Kingdom I can be during this time, and honestly I’ve never felt so purpose driven. 

3. Now, don’t get me wrong…

Relationship is great. As humans, even right at the beginning in Genesis, God created us for relationship. Two people coming together as one to serve the Kingdom and pursue God’s will is just so SO beautiful and I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing couples that have Christ at the focus. It’s really made me realise how important it is to make that your “goal” if you do desire to be married: to want to be with someone who will better you; who will pursue God with you; who will push you to better version of yourself everyday; who will love you as Christ loves the church; who will set an example and lead you correctly. Ladies, I really hope you’re reading this! If Christ isn’t his focus, he shouldn’t be yours!

Bearing all this in mind, if you have met someone you believe would lead you correctly and would help you to live a Christ-focused life just ask yourself this: would you be willing to wait if God said “not yet”, and would you be willing to let it go if God said “no”? If your answers were no, I suggest you go back to the point on Lordship.

Trust me, I know it can be tricky to take “not now” as an answer. I’ve been in a situation recently that seemed nearly impossible to navigate and I had to completely lay down my hearts desires to the Lord because I know the heart is deceitful, and honestly, I’m still having to surrender it. It’s not easy stuff! It can be so frustrating when you really want something to happen and God says “not now” or “no” but I found this scripture to be a real breakthrough in my struggle with this:

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬ ‭[NIV]

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

The Lord’s perspective is SO much higher than ours ever will be! He can see what tomorrow holds for us (He can see what tomorrow holds for them too) and He knows the perfect timing! This scripture helped me to let go and trust that His plan is more perfect than my idea of perfect, simply because He knows so much more than me. Perspective, Lordship and surrender have been really close to my heart through this. And just remember: you’re here to glorify God so keep Him at your focus of any goal in life.

Pray with me for a second…

Father God,

I thank you that you have a plan for my life. I thank you that I can rest assured in the fact that you know what tomorrow brings. Lord, I just ask that you teach my heart to feel fully satisfied in you. I want to live a life that glorifies you. I surrender what I want to you and ask that you incline my heart to desire what you want for my life. I ask that you show me new ways I can serve your kingdom during this season.

Thank you Jesus,


Love to you all!

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Anita is 18 and has just finished studying her A levels. She is going on to complete a uni access course in nursing and midwifery next year. She is excited to where God takes her through this year!

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